Disclaimer: Sadly, I just own the least interesting characters in this story. Faith and Kate belong to Joss Whedon and his crew of geniuses. I did, however, invent the setting for the story. The lyrics at the beginning & in the end are written by Adam Duritz, 'Walkaways' is a song on the Counting Crows CD 'Recovering the Satellites'. I don't think anyone actually owns LA, but in case someone does: I'm just borrowing it for a little while. I'm not making any money with this story. Unfortunately.

Author's notes: This is an F/F story. Also, some of the sexual acts may appear to be unconsensual. If that bothers you, this story is not for you - don't flame me telling me I'm a sicko because I didn't make you read it. This is to all the girls living dangerously and to all the girls who wish they were.

Oh yeah: English isn't my first language. I think in English, dream in English and write most of my stuff in English, but I don't speak it every day. So if you see some weird mistakes, sorry, my bad.

~

"I gotta rush away," she said,
"I've been to Boston before.
And anyways this change I've been feeling
doesn't make the rain fall -"
No big differences these days
just the same old walkaways
and someday
I'm gonna stay
but not today

~

I shouldn't have been at the club that night, doing that thing I do. Not because of all the obvious reasons; they never bothered me much. So what if I wasn't legal and wouldn't be for a few more years - who cared? And the fact that I already was wanted by the police was annoying, I 'll admit - but it wasn't like it was on my mind every single day.

No. I shouldn't have been there because it was a Thursday. Thursday and Monday are my two days off, and if Cherry's boyfriend hadn't succeeded in talking her out of the job I would have been at the motel, in my room, or at the laundromat, minding my own business. But no. I had to work.

For some reason, Thursday was always crowded at Big Betty's. I had heard girls saying the customers knew who was performing which night, and the fact that I wasn't there on Thursdays always drew a crowd. I never was very popular with girls; always being the sexier one can cause problems, and then there's my tendency to punch the brats in the face when I don't like what I'm seeing. But it's not like they ever give me a second chance.

Big's was a classy joint as I'd ever seen one; a small bar in that part of town where you would never find a Starbucks, with one stage and only one or two girls on it at a time. The girls, I have to say, weren't as cheap as they come - although that never showed on our paychecks.

Ofcourse the largest part of the audience would be male. Mostly large, hairy, sweaty men who would reach out and let their discusting, empty hands try to touch my skin. I was lucky to have mastered the art of kicking them in their groins fast enough for noone to notice; the guys themselves would never know what hit them. But I know that I was the only girl in the joint who had that skill.

We would get female customers. You could easily divide them into three categories. First, there were the rich bitches who came in with their husbands to revel in somebody else's misery. They never, ever gave tips. Then you had the so-called flocks: groups of girls who took their ladies-night as an excuse to behave like their boyfriends. They giggled when you got too close to them and they would actually dare eachother to put dollarbills in our panties or bra's - but dancing for them somehow made me feel more worhtless than dancing for the bitchy wives. And then there were the solitary women; definately dykes, and if not - cops. We could always easily spot the cops. Barry would immediately signal us when he'd seen one and get me and the two other girls who were underage to escape through the backdoor.

Dancing for the dykes was always the most fun, or at least I thought so. I could make their mouths water and other parts of their bodies moist, and make them believe I was coming home with them - but ofcourse I only would if they were remotely attractive, or really rich and generous.

Why did it always have to be so fucking hot in this joint? As I pulled aside the curtain and walked onto the stage, the lights immediately burned on my skin. I was - as usual - wearing my schoolgirl outfit. Barry had noticed the whole innocence act really seemed to do it for the audience, so after he'd let me try it out once he never wanted me out of these clothes again... figuratively speaking, ofcourse.

"What should I call you?" he had asked me the first time I went on. I had already told him my name was Faith, but he needed a stagename to go with the outfit.

"Buffy," I had answered him without thinking twice. But Barry looked at me as if I had made him eat something rotten.

"Brittany!" he had announced me. It was close enough.

This time I got the same introduction. Since that first time I had learned that almost everyone was thinking of a spoiled little baby-voiced singer when they heard the name, but I didn't care.

I danced. When I closed my eyes, it was almost nice. Slow and sensual, warm and clean. It didn't matter that my clothes had to come off. First went the skirt, then the stockings. Then I unbuttoned my white shirt. Should I take it off? No... let them wait.

I decided to take the long way around the bar - the little catwalk that led to the end of the room wasn't used in every act or even by every girl, but I could collect more money this way. Besides - was that a lonely lady over there in the corner? I felt like taking a little walk.

Half-way there I closed my eyes again and concentrated on my movements - who needs eyesight when you have an extra sense for balance, right?

The next time I opened my eyes, I'd lost the shirt and I was busy taking off my bra. And I was looking right into the eyes of one very shocked, very beautiful policeofficer. Kate. Damn!

When miraculously the bars of my jailcell had given two months ago, and the guards hadn't turned out to be as tough as they had looked, my first impulse had been to run, fast and far. But I hadn't. Why hadn't I? Okay, yes. So I escaped. But who could blame me? The judge had given me five to seven! Who would be able to keep a superhero's powers cooped up for seven years?

I had stayed in LA because it had seemed big enough for me to duck and cover every time a cop or one of Angel's sidekicks would show up.

This time I ran. I got a whole lot of protests from the crowd because I hadn't taken off my bra before fleeing the stage, and that signaled Barry.

"Cop!" I called out to him when I disappeared behind the curtain.

"Shit," he responded. "Why didn't I see him?"

"Because it's a her," I said while grabbing my streetclothes. "I have to get out of here!"

Monica was just slipping past us to start her own act, but Barry stopped her. "Go home," he said, "Or it's jail for all of us." Monica was probably just over sixteen. She hurried out the backdoor while I zipped up my jeans. My shirt was half over my head when I heard someone come in. Barry thought Monica had come back and took an irritated step toward the door, but we both took a few steps back when we saw who had really come in.

"Hello Mister Donovan," she said. "Nice place you have here."

It was Kate, obviously. I hadn't expected her to come after me so fast, not to mention through the backdoor. Smart. Kate was radiating her trademark tough-cop confidence and intimidating Barry visibly.

"Hello Miss," he stuttered. "How may I help you?"

Kate flashed her badge, almost too casually, almost without moving her arm. Barry shifted uncomfortably while looking sideways to me. I was scanning the distance to the door but calculated that I couldn't make it out without having to throw Kate to the floor, and for some reason that was not an option. She turned to me.

"Hello Faith," she said, calmly. "I've been wondering if you could still be in town. I can see what you stayed here for. You would be crazy to quit a fine job like this." She was smiling slightly, the same cool look in her eyes that I'd come to know about her in the two days I had stayed at her office. Still... something seemed different about her.

"Yeah," I responded with half a smile, "This job makes me feel like I'm really doing something for the community, you know?"

Barry interrupted us. "You two... know eachother?" he asked. He still looked frightened.

"Sure, we're old friends, right?" Kate smiled at me.

Barry seemed to come to his senses. "Look, miss... you really shouldn't be back here."

But Kate liked him frightened. "Hey," she said, casually but quickly, "Wasn't that one of your girls I just caught sneaking out of here? She looked familiar. Very young though... nah, couldn't be yours. Could she?"

Barry looked at me, very insecure of how to deal with the situation.

"How do you want to do this, Kate?" I asked her. "You gonna take me to the station or are we just gonna stand here all night exchanging threats and formalities?"

While I was saying this I had stepped closer to her, and looking into her eyes I could see how her pupils were dialating. I noticed how we were about the same height - I could look her straight in the eye. She had the perfect height for kissing - lips in perfect reach and all.

Kate seemed to be thinking about what I said. Why was she wasting everyone's time here? Why didn't she just put me in a car and..?

... And then it hit me. She was alone, indeed, as I had guessed when I had seen her sitting alone in the dark corner at the end of the stage, when I couldn't see it was her. No backup?

"Barry," I said soothingly to my boss while putting my hand on his upperarm, "Why don't you go and see if Yvonne can replace Monica as the next act? I want to talk to officer Lockley."

Barry looked confused, but thankful for any chance he could get to escape Kate's presence. He disappeared through the door that led to the bar. When the door had closed behind him, I turned to Kate again and smiled at her.

"Hi," I said.

Kate looked puzzled.

"I couldn't help noticing," I started, "That noone else has shown up yet. Where's that nice little donutfilled detective I saw you with the last time we spoke?" I paused, then looked like I was very concerned. "He's not still recovering from that nasty broken pubic bone, is he?"

Kate flinched, I saw it. I loved it! So I took another step toward her.

"Don't come too close, Faith," Kate warned. "I know you're human. I can still put a hole in you with this gun." She touched the left side of her chest.

"Sure you could put a hole in me," I said, rolling my eyes, taking one more step closer to her. "But how do you know if I'd die when you do?"

Now I had really scared her. And that when she could have only heard rumors about my super-human strength!

"There's only one way to find out," Kate said, still sounding pretty sure of herself.

I pouted. "You gonna shoot me, Kate?" I asked.

"I am if you're going to come any closer," she answered.

Suddenly we heard the music in the next room getting louder. Barry was announcing Yvonne as the next act. I decided to take a chance.

"Alright, then I won't," I promised her. "But I still have this one question for you. Why didn't you call in for back-up? I mean, everyone knows how slow LAPD usually is, but please, fifteen minutes?"

Kate grinded her teeth, I saw the muscles move in her jaw. She just looked at me, perhaps considering lying to me. Wondering if I could read her mind. I felt like I could.

"I know!" I whispered to her, still loud enough for her to hear me over the music. She didn't notice that I had taken another step. I was getting really close to her when I said: "You aren't here in the boss' time, are you?"

A pause. I imagined Kate's colour fading a little from her face, but she regained her posture and smirked. "Why else would I be in this hell-hole, Faith?" she asked me, sounding stronger than she looked. "Do you really think I would come to a place like this in my own time? For what, for fun?" She stressed the last word like it was crazy to even consider it.

Oh, this was just too easy.

"Exactly!" I answered, smiling cheerfully. I was close enough to smell her, and so I took a deep breath. "Mm," I hummed. "Chanel number 5?"

Kate stepped back, sensing the wall behind her. "You do understand that I could shoot you down right now and nobody would even ask if I was justified, don't you?"

My movements were as fast as light. In less than a second, before Kate could even blink, I had closed the distance between us, smashed Kate into the wall, had reached into her jacket, grabbed her gun and now I was pressing the barrel against her throat. I closed my eyes and sighed, leaning into her. "Nope, " I said, "I was wrong. It's Chanel number 3. Always liked that one better."

Then I opened my eyes to see her reaction. Priceless - what I wouldn't have given to see this stooc woman scared to death; and now I was seeing it! She was perplexed, she was shocked. Her eyes were all shiny and wide open, her lips slightly parted. She swallowed, I could feel it at the other end of the gun.

"Will you answer the question, Kate?" I asked sweetly. "You know I've killed before."

She was breathing hard, and I couldn't help wondering if she sounded the same when she was having sex.

"Yes," she said, "Okay, yes. So I'm not on duty. Are you satisfied now? Wat do you want from me?"

My body was pressed against hers, pushing her against the peeled off paper on the wall. I could feel the warmth of her body through her jacket and my shirt, like I could feel her against my skin.

"I like how you feel," I told her. "Your body. It's warm."

Kate looked bewildered. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were shooting from the gun to me, to everywhere else in the room. I could feel her heart beat against my forearm. "Faith," she said, her voice trembling, all the coolness finally gone. "Faith, please let me go. I won't tell anyone I-I've seen you here. Just put... put the gun away."

I looked at the shiny metal pressed against the pale skin of her throat, and wondered how it would feel. I lifted my left arm off of her chest, and Kate started panting, probably thinking I was going to let her go. But I kept the gun right where it was - just let the fingers of my left hand touch the skin next to it.

It was very hot. Inches away from the gun an artery was pumping blood through her body. I put my fingers on it and traced it all the way up to where I lost it, just below her ear, where soft hair covered her skin. I looked up at her face and studied it closely; her nose, her eyebrows, her lips, her jawline.

"Why would you come here to look at the girls?" I asked her. "If I were you, I would live in a house of mirrors - just walk around naked all day and watch myself."

Kate looked at me like she was about to say something, but Barry chose that moment to come back in.

"Is everything alright in..." he fell silent when he saw us pressed together against the wall.

I pushed the gun down to Kate's chest so it was between our bodies where he couldn't see it. I smiled at him. "Five by five, Barr," I said with a wink. "Told you we were old friends."

"Oh..." he stammered. "I'll just... go," and after he took one last, long look at the two of us he went back out through the door.

"It's over, Faith," Kate said, trembling against me. "He saw what you're doing. He knows something's up."

I laughed. "Are you kidding me? He's probably gonna jerk off on the memory of seeing the two of us together for the rest of his pathetic life!"

Kate was studying my face, probably planning out a new strategy to get me to let her go. I was curious, but I didn't want to risk Barry coming back in to see if we were having wild crazy sex yet. So I grabbed Kate's arm. "Let's go for a walk," I suggested casually.

Kate didn't seem too fond of the idea of me, the one with the gun, taking her, the unarmed one, out to the deserted parking lot behind Big's bar.

"Come on Kate," I said sweetly, "I'm thinking the two of us can work something out. All I want is a little company so I don't have to walk down that parkinglot alone, and all you want is to not have a bullet put through your spine. Do you see how we can help eachother out here?"

Outside, I let Kate show me where she'd parked her car. I let her drive; pointing her own gun at her seemed to be enough reason for her to do everything I wanted. But after a while I noticed she kept running red lights and driving in the middle of the road. She was desperately trying to attract the attention of her colleques, obviously - but without any results.

"You should know better than to think that LA's finest ever show their faces in this part of town," I told Kate. After that, her driving became even worse. I liked that. After a while I got an idea.

"Kate," I started when we were getting close to my motel, "Let's fuck."

Kate jerked at the wheel and we were taking a small detour over the sidewalk before she regained control over the car.

"Are you going to rape me?" she asked.

I rolled my eyes. "No. God, it's that word, isn't it? I'm just saying we could... make out or something. Get it on, you know?"

Kate just kept looking straight ahead and ignored me.

"Come on!" I tried to convince her. "Don't try to come up with excuses. I know you want me. Tell me, what did you think when you first met me?"

Kate answered unexpectedly fast. "I thought you were a vicious little kid - an assassin with no consience, bad acting skills and way too much make-up," she said.

"Yeah," I pushed her to continue, "But what did you want to do to me?"

She didn't answer. As a matter of fact she didn't speak to me all the way to where I told her to park her car. We were at the motel.

"So, what do you think?" I asked Kate when we'd gotten to my room. "I know, it's a little empty and all, but somehow you never really get to settle when you have to bail every time the manager comes around asking for the rent."

I couldn't get Kate to sit down. She preferred to stand up. Ofcourse that could have had something to do with the fact that the only place to sit in my room was the matress, since I had already taken the chair. She wasn't too keen of getting into my bed.

I turned my chair so I could face her; she was standing between the bed and the window.

"Kate, dear," I said after we'd been looking at eachother for a few minutes, "Please sit down." And she did.

"Please is all it takes," Kate mumbled under her breath. It was too soft for the human ear to hear, and she probably wasn't expecting me to make it out. Please was all it took?

When I saw the way she was looking at me, I suddenly didn't feel like pointing a gun at her anymore. I walked over to the bed and laid the gun down on the kabinet on the side of the bed, near to where I sat down. Finally, Kate spoke.

"I wanted to wipe that stuff of your face. See what was underneath."

I turned to face her. "That's it?" I asked, a little disappointed. She looked into my eyes and held my gaze. Christ. That was soft. I had been thinking more along the lines of torture, revenge. Then I got another idea; I took my gun and walked over to the sink, wetted a napkin and walked back to the bed. I put the gun down again and handed the napkin to Kate.

"Take it off," I said.

She did, eventually. She needed a reminder that I still had her gun. Then she ran the napkin over my eyes and over my mouth, taking all the lipstick and eyeshadow off my face. She uncovered skin I didn't even uncover when I was dancing in the club. It was a whole new experience.

"It's off," she said after a few minutes. She folded the napkin and handed it back to me.

"Is this so much better?" I asked. She didn't even answer, she just looked at me. "What else?"

"Your mouth," she said.

"What about it?"

"I wanted to close it. No more lies. No more crazy stories that only got you further into trouble. No more nasty language."

Kate was surprising me. This wasn't what I had expected from her at all. She should have hated me, should have wanted to destroy me. But this..?

Was it my imagination, or was she coming closer? Were we really almost touching?

"I wanted to..." she paused, holding her breath. "I wanted you."

First of all - there were her lips. Soft, and moist, and kissing me. Her tongue was between them; teasing my lips with short, tickling strokes. Then my tongue was against hers, pushing, stroking, exploring. I was praying that this would go on forever, until suddenly her hand was on my breast - touching it, caressing it. I gasped with pleasure. And right at that moment, I felt the cold metal of a gun pressed under my chin.

"Oh Christ," I groaned through my teeth. My body jerked in frustration, and when I opened my eyes I could see what was holding me down; Kate was smiling at me the same way she had been smiling when she had just walked into the backroom of the club earlier that night. Full of confidence. She was straddling me, one hand on my right breast, the other holding her gun.

"How does it feel to be at the other end?" she asked, a vicious smirk on her face. "How afraid are you, knowing I can pull this trigger before you can even make a move?"

"I've never been afraid of anything," I answered. And before she realised it, we were locking lips again. Then I was back on the bed, my arms to my sides."You didn't pull the trigger," I said.

"It's still an option," Kate sneered, looking extremely irritated.

"What exactly are you waiting for?"

Kate brushed some hair out of her face and repositioned herself. A familiar fragrance reached my nostrils. And this time it wasn't perfume.

"Oh my God," I laughed, "I did it!" I looked at Kate and raised an eyebrow. "I got you hot!"

Kate looked at me as if she didn't know what to say or do. When I kept laughing she slapped me in the face, pretty hard. First it wiped the smile off my face, but then it came back even broader. This was the side of Kate I had been hoping all night to see. The dark side; the not-so-good-cop-after-all-side.

"Way to go, Kate," I breathed. "I had a feeling you weren't really into the game." I tried to look down at the gun she was holding to my throat. "Please be careful with that thing," I said. "I'm sure it's loaded."

"Oh, I know it is," Kate said. "And I'm not so sure I want to be careful with it. A few minutes ago you looked like you were ready to kill me; I won't hesitate this time."

I wasn't planning on dying anytime soon. No matter how miserable my life was, I always liked the feeling of being alive. Sure there had been times in the past where I didn't care whether I would live or die - but that was before I was called. After that survival had been my top-priority - until that unfortunate incident with Angel, but that too was in the past now.

"So what's your plan?" I asked Kate. "If you're waiting for me to do something stupid, we're gonna be here all night, I promise you."

"So you're saying you'll be a good girl from now on?" Kate asked. "Or just while I'm pointing this gun at you?"

I didn't answer and didn't move - I just stared at her.

"I thought so," Kate said. She thought for a second while looking down at the body she was sitting on. She noticed one of her hands was resting on my chest, and she moved it slightly, brushing the side of it against my right nipple; which instantly hardened at the touch. Kate saw it and smiled. "I'm the one in charge now, aren't I?" she said.

I grinded my teeth. "The one holding the gun usually is," I answered her.

Kate cocked her head slightly. "I seem to be having a problem here," she said. "I know I have you under control right now, because you know I can kill you. But the minute I take this gun off of your skin, you'll be the one with the advantage again. I have to get some backup to take you to the station - but I don't want you to kill me." She made a face like she was thinking real hard, but in the meantime she let her eyes wander over my face and over the upper part of my body. Her hand was still on my breast. The fabric of the shirt I was wearing was thin and I could feel the heat radiating off her hand.

"I don't want to kill you," I said. I wasn't even lying.

Kate looked up at me and stared hard into my eyes. "No," she said, holding the eyecontact while she started to press her hand into my breast, gently kneading it, sending little rods of pleasure through my body. "You just want to get off."

I started to breathe a little faster, my heart pounding with anticipation. I tried not to let it show. I didn't like the turn things had taken; Kate on top was alright with me, but not the fact that she was the one with all the power. I wanted to be able to do whatever I wanted, not lay here as still as possible, afraid of someone shooting me. So far, sex had always been on my terms. I wasn't ready to change that now.

"I guess that's something we have in common then," I said. I moved my back a few inches up off the matress and shifted into a different position. I could smell her again, and this time I saw she knew I could. She blushed, but only slightly.

"I don't think killing me is what you want to do right now," I said.

She looked at me, her eyes narrowing slightly. She looked as if she was trying to figure out whether she could trust me.

"You can, you know," I said in a soft voice.

"What?"

"Trust me."

Before she could respond to that, undoubtedly with another smirk, I slowly brought my hands up from the bed and to her hips. She watched my movements with suspicion. Kate was wearing her jacket over a grey sweatshirt and when my fingers reached the top of her jeans and slipped under her clothes to touch the warm, soft skin of her waist, I noticed she wasn't wearing anything under the sweater. I rested my hands and looked at her; her eyes were little more than black holes which I couldn't read into anymore.

The sex was hard and urgent. There was nothing soft about the way Kate kissed me or touched me after she'd decided I really wasn't going to kill her. She kept on trying to overpower me, pushing my hands down to the matress, grabbing my hair, and at one point she even nailed my left leg down to the bed by putting her own knee over it. There were several moments where I couldn't figure out whether we were fucking or fighting. And I don't know who won, but I figured it was a good thing I came before she did because after Kate let out that last, shuddering breath she pushed me away and turned to the other side of the bed.

After, I think I drifted off for a bit. When I lazily opened my eyes, the room was bathing in the soft grey light of very early morning, and Kate was sitting on the side of the bed. She wasn't wearing anything except her slip and one white sock, and she was looking out the window. Somehow the curve of her gracious back told me she wasn't gonna jump up and burst into song and dance anytime soon.

"So, am I the first convicted criminal you ever took to bed?" I asked. Kate didn't respond. Instead of answering me, she looked at her watch.

"Sun's gonna be up soon," I said, trying not to think about the herds of vampires scurrying back to their nests at this hour, about the dozen that wouldn't have been among them if I had been doing what I was supposed to do last night.

Kate was still not speaking to me, so I rose and reached out to her. But when my fingertips touched her skin, she quickly got up and walked to the end of the bed, gathering her clothes. Then she disappeared into the small bathroom.

When she came back out a couple of minutes later, she was fully dressed. She had probably used my comb and even some make-up because her whole 'Lt. Lockley, LAPD' face was up again.

"I'm going home," she said, "And you'd better not try to stop me."

I looked down to her right hand and saw she was holding her gun. It was pointed at the floor, but I was shocked anyway. Kate started to walk towards the door.

"Well gee thanks," I said. "I had a great time last night, too. Maybe we should do this again sometime."

"Faith." She didn't turn to face me, so basically she was talking to the door. "Get the hell out of this city." She cocked her head back a little and tried to stare me down. "I mean it. The next time I see your ass, I will put you in jail for the rest of your life."

Then she opened the door and I realised she was really going to walk out, that this was all the goodbye I was going to get, and for some reason I just got up and followed her into the hallway. I couldn't care less that I wasn't wearing any clothes. I hurried past her and blocked her way to the stairs, but when I was standing in front of her and she was looking at my face, I suddenly didn't know what to say. So I kissed her. And she let me. My lips were still sore from last night.

"Tomorrow morning at four a.m. police will show up at your door," Kate said when she looked at me again. "They're going to pay dear Barry a visit as well. I suggest you be somewhere else when they get here." Then she pushed past me and walked down the stairs. She didn't look back, not even when my next door neighbour appeared in his doorway ready to go to work. He stopped abrubtly and stared at me, when I felt something moist on my lip. I tasted salt, and brought my hand up to see if it was what I thought it was.

Blood.

I smiled when I realised Kate had bitten my lower lip when I kissed her.

"Bitch," I said, and walked back into my room.

The next day I spent cleaning out my room and counting my bruises. I knew they would fade soon, and somehow I regretted that. I wanted to feel Kate's touch on my skin just a little bit longer. Around seven in the evening I got on a Greyhound out of town, just after I had collected my last paycheck from Barry. Told him I was moving on to bigger and better things. And he gave me a wink. Just like everyone else in my life he wouldn't believe I could make something better for myself.

But maybe when I get to New York, I'll get a chance to start over. Maybe this time I can really get it together.

Who knows.

~
No big differences these days
just the same old walkaways
and someday
I'm gonna stay
but not today
~

---

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